IS THIS A JOKE ??

[Jacksparrow]

I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre.
She said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything. . . "

[Willpar]

[peregrine]

.Practice safe eating - always use condiments

Did you now it takes 40 pigs to make 4,000 sausages? Isn't it amazing what you can teach them

[Willpar]

[Jacksparrow]

“I used to be a musician on a cruise ship”
“P & O?’
“Nope, guitar”

[Jacksparrow]

I asked my wife if she had seen my dictionary..
She said, “Have you looked up stairs”
I said, “I can't look up anything”

[Willpar]

[peregrine]

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.

Driver to passenger: 'Lean out the window and tell me if the indicator light is working.'
Passenger: 'Okay... Yes... No... Yes... No... Yes... No

[Willpar]

[Jacksparrow]

Came back to find my motor soaking wet.
My fault for using the overflow car park.