Garden Wildlife UK

Just had the worst day today…. I paid a carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and found out he’s done a bunk.
It’s just one thing on top of another

I went to the doctors this morning with a suspicious looking mole.
He said they all look like that and I should have left him in my garden.

I just found a half frozen tiny bird as I walked home, so I put it in my pocket to give it a chance of survival.
When I showed the wife, she told me how much she loved me for being so kind and sensitive, so I thought I'd try for a kiss & a cuddle as she was in a good mood.
She said "Please, not in front of the chilled wren".

I'm not saying my friend is a bit slow.
But her train of thought has a bus replacement service.

Husband: What's for dinner?
Wife: Nothing!
Husband: We had nothing last night
Wife: I know. I made enough for 2 days