Garden Wildlife UK

Gawd, see the standards have slipped while I've been away. Will get me Joke Book out later.

While Peregrine is looking for his joke book read about the wisdom of Greek philosopher Socrates

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."


'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was having an affair with his wife.

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'


Two cannibals were having dinner. 'Your wife makes a great roast.' says one. 'I know,' says the other, 'But I'll miss her.'

A container lorry has shed its load of onions on the M6. Motorists are advised to find a hard shoulder to cry on.

I hate Russian dolls, - they're so full of themselves.

I just managed to make carbonated prune juice using nitrous oxide.. Not for commercial reasons, just for shits and giggles.

You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.