Garden Wildlife UK

.......in through the door came Anna,Andy's wife. She looked around the room with a multitude of questions forming in her mind but said nothing. During the brief silence Andy decided it was his place to bring his wife up to speed with all that had happened so far that day after she had gone off to work. This he did as quickly as possible as he was keen to hear what else his mum had to say as up to this point she hadn't clarified what his involvement was to mean in practical terms. This was held up by Anna and Andy's mum getting properly acquainted and they had only conversed via Skype for the last 10 years. Then there was the small matter of liquid refreshment as Anna declared she "was gasping" after a long day at work. So off she went to the kitchen returning ten minutes later with a tray and mugs of coffee.
After everyone had settled again andy's mum said................................

"... Andy's mum said, "Got any cake?".

Is this pointless drivel scheduled to end on Christmas Eve ?? Can't wait ......

..... Anna said, "No we haven't any cake, what do you think this is - poppy day? You waltz into this house like it were a public convenience, sit down and start ... "

"... demanding sweetymeatys out of the blue. Come to that, we haven't any coffee either. Tea and a Bath Oliver for you and think yourself lucky !".
"Now now", said Andy, as desperate as the rest of us to reach the end of this ..."

Placido wrote:"... Andy's mum said, "Got any cake?".

Is this pointless drivel scheduled to end on Christmas Eve ?? Can't wait ......

Be patient It's not as though there's any decent cricket to watch instead

.........Ivor Pickle-Degg said he'd send you some documents shortly for us to peruse plus another package containing things he thinks are my property. Andy reached down the side of his chair and produced the carrier bag of paperwork he'd taken to the pub for Mick Snuts to look at. Andy's mum was a little surprised they's arrived already "but what of the other package?" she asked. Andy explained he'd missed the delivery but he knew where it could be collected. Peke grabbed the missed delivery card and gave it to his chauffeur to go and collect. While they were all waiting for the missing package they started to look over the documents in hand. Peke read through the covering letter and said he thought that on the face of it Andy appeared to be the beneficiary of a farm but without a long read of the other paperwork he could not say anymore. At that point the chauffeur returned with the missing package. Andy quickly opened it to find a second lot of packaging this time addressed to his mum. Neither she nor any of the others had the slightest idea as to what was about to be revealed.....................

Placido wrote:"... demanding sweetymeatys out of the blue. Come to that, we haven't any coffee either. Tea and a Bath Oliver for you and think yourself lucky !".
"Now now", said Andy, as desperate as the rest of us to reach the end of this ..."

" .. complete and utter shambles of a situation. "What is thisl?!" exclaimed Andy's mum - a house with no coffee and no cake - what an absolute disgrace, what would the Vicar ... "

.........strangely it wasn't her long lost book on Home Baking as some might have thought but all her old love letters to Herbie which she sent after their brief but intense liaison. Andy's mum looked at them in disbelief having expected that they were long since consigned to the rubbish bin. A previously mentioned the letters had informed Herbie of his impending fatherhood but she thought either he'd not received them or had chosen to ignore them.
While all this was being taken in by the gathered family Peke spoke to remind his wife and to tell Andy and his family that the reading of Herbies will was appointed for 3 PM the next day so it was imperative that arrangements were put in place to get to the solicitors office in Yorkshire. This was going to take some organising at such short notice but Andy's wife Anna was equal to the task. The girls Aster and Emma would be sent to stop with her mother who lived nearby while she would email her workplace and advise them something urgent had cropped up and she would be taking a day's unpaid leave. to be truthful this whirlwind of activity left Andy bewildered as being a househusband he was used to routine and living to the beat of his own drum but he was more willing to cling to everyone else's coat tails and go with the flow.
After all this had been sorted Andy's mum and Peke left to go their hotel while Anna bustled about getting her tribe organised ready for tomorrow. After what for Andy was a almost sleepless night and a breakfast he barely tasted he and Anna awaited the arrival of the chauffeured Mercedes which was to take them to Yorkshire......................

Gottit, gottit - the chauffeur diddit. Can we all go home now ?!?!?!?!

Naaaah, shurely shome mishtake - Andy's too much of a wuss ever to be a farmer. I reckon Peke and Anna should inherit the surprise. Only ones with a positive approach to this problem. The End.

"... what would the Vicar think ?!"
"The Vicar finished off the last of the seedcake this morning", snapped Anna. "The car's been repossessed and all the trains are on strike. The cupboard is bare !! Waaaaahh "