Garden Wildlife UK

A lady takes her ill-behaved dog along to a trainer (Barbara Woodhouse possibly , and is asked to fill in a questionnaire.
After all the name, address, problem of dog, etc., a question asks, "Why did you choose this particular breed of dog?" The longsuffering lady writes: 'I often ask that myself.'

Placido wrote:A lady takes her ill-behaved dog along to a trainer (Barbara Woodhouse possibly , and is asked to fill in a questionnaire.
After all the name, address, problem of dog, etc., a question asks, "Why did you choose this particular breed of dog?" The longsuffering lady writes: 'I often ask that myself.'

Errrrr Have you missed off the punchline?

Wh-a-a-a-a-t ???

Little Johnnie is practising his violin in the living room and his father is trying to read the newspaper as patiently as possible. Suddenly the family dog joins in and begins to howl. Dad stands the racket for as long as he can then suddenly snaps. "For gaaawwwd's sake, will you pleeeeese play something the dog doesn't know !!!!!!!"

Placido wrote:Little Johnnie is practising his violin in the living room and his father is trying to read the newspaper as patiently as possible. Suddenly the family dog joins in and begins to howl. Dad stands the racket for as long as he can then suddenly snaps. "For gaaawwwd's sake, will you pleeeeese play something the dog doesn't know !!!!!!!"

Things that will blow your mind!

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A polar bear walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a scotch and .............. soda."
The barman asks, "Why the long pause?"
"I dunno, I've always had them."