Garden Wildlife UK

Thank you, Nuthatch

The RSPB has said that after all the earlier wet weather, owls are in trouble.
They go off their food in torrential rain - they will not go out to hunt as their feathers do not contain oil like other birds, and they lose the urge to mate.
The RSPB warns that numbers will be down this year because of the lack of nesting and rearing owing to the fact that it's too wet to woo.

I was speaking to a pal yesterday who's been looking for a new puppy for ages now and he said that he's acquired two new dogs . He's called one of them Rolex and the other is Timex.
I was affronted (!) and asked why he'd given them such daft names. He replied:
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"Because they're watch-dogs."

Placido wrote:I was speaking to a pal yesterday who's been looking for a new puppy for ages now and he said that he's acquired two new dogs . He's called one of them Rolex and the other is Timex.
I was affronted (!) and asked why he'd given them such daft names. He replied:
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"Because they're watch-dogs."

Man walks into a bar and gets talking to a man who had already walked into the same bar who happened to be the son of the last hangman in England. He told the second man a very strange story ......

His father reckoned that long ago a condemned man was led up onto the gibbet. The crowd roared, the black hood was pulled over his head, the crowd went wild, he was centred over the trapdoor, the crowd went even more wild. The hangman reached for the rope to place the noose around the poor unfortunate's neck and - there was no rope !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone had forgotten to fix the rope.
The crowd reached frenzy point and began to chant in unison, "Let 'Im Go" as this was obviously a sign from on high and the lucky miscreant was duly released.

A Sky sports reporter immediately thrust a microphone in his face and asked him how he felt ; the free man solemnly replied, "I've only one thing to say, John, no noose is good noose."
Back to the studio ........

Sky Sports

Placido wrote:Man walks into a bar and gets talking to a man who had already walked into the same bar who happened to be the son of the last hangman in England. He told the second man a very strange story ......

His father reckoned that long ago a condemned man was led up onto the gibbet. The crowd roared, the black hood was pulled over his head, the crowd went wild, he was centred over the trapdoor, the crowd went even more wild. The hangman reached for the rope to place the noose around the poor unfortunate's neck and - there was no rope !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone had forgotten to fix the rope.
The crowd reached frenzy point and began to chant in unison, "Let 'Im Go" as this was obviously a sign from on high and the lucky miscreant was duly released.

A Sky sports reporter immediately thrust a microphone in his face and asked him how he felt ; the free man solemnly replied, "I've only one thing to say, John, no noose is good noose."
Back to the studio ........

There was me thinking it couldn't get any worse the the "watchdog" joke

It's just that it should have been a reporter from the Daily Herald or Daily Sketch - no microphone or studio but perhaps that's part of the joke

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