IS THIS A JOKE ??

[Jacksparrow]

An old Labrador starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old Labrador thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Labrador exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Labrador nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old Labrador sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Labrador says .......
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"
Moral of this story...
Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Expertise in dissembling information and quick thinking only come with age and experience

[Placido]

[nuthatch]

[Placido]

I recently had occasion to order an item of shoe accessory online and it came toady .
The providing company rejoices in the name of "Ecobbler" . I hurriedly checked the address and, yes !!!, it's based in Yorkshire .Made my day.

Eeebygum(boot)

[Jacksparrow]

WIFE: *Honey let's play a game*
HUSBAND: *Okay. What's the game about?*
WIFE: *If I mention a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a bird, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you'll give me all your salary for this month, and no daily sex*
HUSBAND: *Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I'll have your salary and have daily sex too right?*
WIFE: (smiles) *Yes darling!*
HUSBAND: *Okay* (stands up ready to run in any direction)
Wife: *are you ready*
Husband: *Yes ready*
WIFE: *TURKEY*
*Its been 4 HOURS NOW...
The husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the Country or the bird
*Moral lesson... After God, Fear Women!*

[Placido]

[Jacksparrow]

Murphy drops a slice buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe
that buttered toast always falls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the church to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.
He won't say what it is, so he asks Father Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Father Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on
the floor and then they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy
"Oh my," says Father Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up.
It must be miracle.
Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle.
I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it.
He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."
After 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen,
Quite outside the natural laws of the universe.
Yet the Holy Ones must be very cautious before ruling a miracle.
All other explanations must be ruled out.

Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared that it is'No Miracle'

They think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side

[Placido]

[peregrine]

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

[Jacksparrow]

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

Not bad! Slightly racist but probably true